How We Told the Kids....
Chuck and I kept the news of our second adoption a secret for months. We would take walks in the evening by ourselves just so we would be able to talk about it without having to use "code words". It was kind of cool having this amazing secret. But after we signed the official contract with our agency and started looking for another agency to do our homestudy, it was just getting to hard to keep the secret. And we couldn't take long enough walks to discuss everything we needed to talk about. It was time to tell the kids.
We knew exactly how they would react. We expected there to be a wide range of emotions. Everything from over the moon happy to completely annoyed. Happy to say, our kids did not let us down and they proved we know them very well.
We decided to tell them one night while we were sitting around the firepit roasting marshmallows. Who isn't happy when eating a marshmallow? We thought the sticky treat could only help in this situation. So here is how it went...
Us: Guess what, you're going to have a little sister.
Canaan: Blank stare. Focused completely on his marshmallow.
Kennedy: "What?!? A SISTER!!!! " And then she proceeded to run laps around the yard while at the same time screaming "I"M GETTING A SISTER!!!!".
Grayson: "Why can't I ever get what I want? Why can't we adopt an 11 year old girl? You never ask me what I want!?! I want a big sister, why can't I ever get what I want?" I think that is when Chuck stuffed another marshmallow in her mouth.
Aidan: You must mean sponsor another sister, so she won't actually live here. Oh, that makes a lot more sense, I thought you meant adopt another kid. You said we were done with 4 kids. Phew, I thought you meant she would live here and stuff.
Us: No Aidan, we are adopting another child and she will live here.
Aidan: Gives us a look like he is about to pack up his stuff and move out, after he eats all the marshmallows. I don't think we heard another word from him until bedtime. Just lots of deep sighs and sounds of annoyment.
So that was about a month or so ago and I am happy to report things here are better all around. Kennedy is still thrilled, but has stopped screaming. Canaan kind of gets it, but asks if we can go to his sister's house for a sleepover every night. Grayson still wants an older sister, but thinks a little one will be fine as long as she isn't like Kennedy. :) And Aidan is slowly warming up to the idea, especially after we told him that he would be able to go to Ethiopia to bring her home.
Sadly Chuck and I have stopped walking at night. Now that the big secret is out it just doesn't seem as exciting.
Friday, June 22, 2012
Wednesday, June 20, 2012
Why Adopt Again???
Many have asked us why we are adopting again. Here it is.
God: So, you have a special room just for junk?
Me: Yes, I do. It's so awesome. I have room for my plastic Easter egg collection, fabric scraps for future projects, decorative boxes to wrap presents in, bridesmaids dresses from numerous weddings, and .....oh....wait, You didn't really want me to answer that.
hm. awkward.
And that is pretty much how the conversation went. A simple question was asked and a pathetic answer was given. I could not believe that here we were, an adoptive family whose eyes had been opened to the needs of orphans, and I had a special room for junk. I felt selfish and foolish. Mostly selfish. I knew something was going to change, but did it require me giving up my junk room? I am pretty attached to that room. SO we started praying to God. We asked Him to open the door we should go through and slam shut all other doors.
While this conversation was going on, three other major things were happening in Ethiopia and in our lives.
#1-Ethiopia adoption programs started closing all over the place. First we heard of agencies that friends had used, then some agencies that friends of friends had used and then the agency we had used, closed. closed. closed. Every where we looked Ethiopia was shutting down and it was heartbreaking. We took that as a sign that adoption was not in our future, even though we always thought it was.
#2-We started looking into foster care. We requested information and looked into classes to become certified foster parents. This seemed like something we could do and there is such a need for foster families. But everytime we signed up to go to a class, it was cancelled due to bad weather.
#3-We started attending a new church. A completely awesome church.
Our new church is very mission based, both in our own community and globally. They are especially active in Haiti and send multiple mission teams there every year. We started hearing about Haiti everytime we entered the church doors. We started thinking "maybe God was telling us Haiti is where we should be looking" but we felt so attached to Ethiopia that it felt like we were betraying our sons' country by even thinking of another country. But we contacted agencies anyway and started warming up to the idea of adopting from Haiti.
We found 3 reputable agencies that we liked and started inquiring about their programs in Haiti. One of them had like 14 countries they worked with and every page was updated with current requirements,etc. While skimming through the pages I noticed that their Ethiopia program said "Open". I assumed it hadn't been updated and sent off our request for Haiti info, while at the same time asking them if they knew their Ethiopia page was outdated. Almost instantly I got this response, "Our Ethiopia program IS open." That was not the sound of a slamming door to me.
I called Chuck and we both started crying. That is when God finished what He had been trying to tell me earlier. We were going to be adopting from Ethiopia again. I just hadn't let Him finish what He was going to say.
Many have asked us why we are adopting again. Here it is.
God: So, you have a special room just for junk?
Me: Yes, I do. It's so awesome. I have room for my plastic Easter egg collection, fabric scraps for future projects, decorative boxes to wrap presents in, bridesmaids dresses from numerous weddings, and .....oh....wait, You didn't really want me to answer that.
hm. awkward.
And that is pretty much how the conversation went. A simple question was asked and a pathetic answer was given. I could not believe that here we were, an adoptive family whose eyes had been opened to the needs of orphans, and I had a special room for junk. I felt selfish and foolish. Mostly selfish. I knew something was going to change, but did it require me giving up my junk room? I am pretty attached to that room. SO we started praying to God. We asked Him to open the door we should go through and slam shut all other doors.
While this conversation was going on, three other major things were happening in Ethiopia and in our lives.
#1-Ethiopia adoption programs started closing all over the place. First we heard of agencies that friends had used, then some agencies that friends of friends had used and then the agency we had used, closed. closed. closed. Every where we looked Ethiopia was shutting down and it was heartbreaking. We took that as a sign that adoption was not in our future, even though we always thought it was.
#2-We started looking into foster care. We requested information and looked into classes to become certified foster parents. This seemed like something we could do and there is such a need for foster families. But everytime we signed up to go to a class, it was cancelled due to bad weather.
#3-We started attending a new church. A completely awesome church.
Our new church is very mission based, both in our own community and globally. They are especially active in Haiti and send multiple mission teams there every year. We started hearing about Haiti everytime we entered the church doors. We started thinking "maybe God was telling us Haiti is where we should be looking" but we felt so attached to Ethiopia that it felt like we were betraying our sons' country by even thinking of another country. But we contacted agencies anyway and started warming up to the idea of adopting from Haiti.
We found 3 reputable agencies that we liked and started inquiring about their programs in Haiti. One of them had like 14 countries they worked with and every page was updated with current requirements,etc. While skimming through the pages I noticed that their Ethiopia program said "Open". I assumed it hadn't been updated and sent off our request for Haiti info, while at the same time asking them if they knew their Ethiopia page was outdated. Almost instantly I got this response, "Our Ethiopia program IS open." That was not the sound of a slamming door to me.
I called Chuck and we both started crying. That is when God finished what He had been trying to tell me earlier. We were going to be adopting from Ethiopia again. I just hadn't let Him finish what He was going to say.
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